My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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