My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
