I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
