when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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