I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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