you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
