I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
