there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
