HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
