so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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