I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
