Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
