I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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