the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
