Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
