i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize