it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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