Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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