Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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