Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
