I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
