If i come over, it means nothing
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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