like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
