im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just come out here and I will go home with you...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
