My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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