I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
