Even water is tasting like jack daniels
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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