I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
