She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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