i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
