How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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