My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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