There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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