WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
