we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
