Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
