I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
