Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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