There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
