3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
