since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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