all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
