When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
