After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
