I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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