i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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