my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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