Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
