i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
