Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
