My room smells like vodka and shame
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
