Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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