New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
