are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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