first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
tell me about the eggs
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
