thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
