Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
is wine microwaveable?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize