I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I bet he comes in French.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
