Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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