nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
