do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
