i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
