She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I wear drunk well.
Randomize