we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
