My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
