Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
