is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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