After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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