He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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