bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Randomize