I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
