Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Say something about gay babies.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
